


Only for You

by oikawuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Iwaizumi Hajime, Character Study, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, No Smut, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Sad, Sad Iwaizumi Hajime, Top Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26986207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawuu/pseuds/oikawuu
Summary: Iwaizumi is feeling neglected after Oikawa has been going on increasingly long tours with his professional volleyball team. Not sure if he can cope with their empty relationship any longer Iwaizumi breaks down.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 7
Kudos: 203





	Only for You

Iwaizumi had been pacing from kitchen counter to sofa to front door for the last ten minutes. His teeth worrying the edge of his bottom lip as he thought over the night he had prepared. It should be perfect for them. Oikawa had left the training gym thirty minutes ago, he knew because Hinata had posted them catching the train together. So, he should be home any moment now...

He moved through his sequence. Counter, sofa, door. Pausing only slightly to adjust an obnoxious alien cushion, a piece normally banished under the stairs. He had had the set up laid out for around an hour, but he was rechecking...again. He ran it through: Milk bread from the specialty bakery on market street- neatly cut and kept fresh under some paper sheets, his corner of their sofa plumped out with blankets and Iwaizumi had even brought out their ancient DVD machine to play those conspiracy videos they had watched together as kids.

This had to go well. 

Oikawa hadn’t been able to come home the last couple of weeks due to away training, sponsorship meets, and then the various media commitments popped up, which of course had to be attended by Japan’s starring setter. It couldn't be helped. 

His thoughts startled at the sound of another set of keys jangling against the apartment door and Iwaizumi briefly felt frozen to the spot before quickly righting himself and assuming an ill-balanced half-lean against the countertop. He now barely winced as he heard the predictable crash of the door handle against the increasingly dented wall, the poor hinges squeaking in protest. A muttering Oikawa steps into the apartment. 

He is toeing off his trainers and kicking them haphazardly by the doorway as Iwaizumi takes him in. He had on a coat that he hadn't seen before wrapped tightly around his frame, probably by some popular designer brand but he hadn't a clue which. It looked nice. Although some may say the intended professional effect is somewhat ruined by the handmade scarf clumsily wrapped all the way from lower neck to just above his nose; Iwaizumi’s breath still caught at the sight of him. 

Oikawa lets out a short huff of a laugh ‘Ah, I always forget how light the doors in this place are.’

After spending a few moments unravelling himself from travel clothes, Oikawa finally turns to face Iwaizumi properly.  
‘I’m back’ he announces alongside that signature dazzling smile: all bared teeth and stretching wider than a well-trained dental model. It wasn't a smile that had ever been meant for him before. Despite this, Iwaizumi feels his chest pull him towards Oikawa’s, as if the two were irreparably magnetized.

On contact, Iwaizumi clasps onto him, letting go of a breath he hadn't known he'd held onto. Hands loop together around Oikawa’s back in a firm lock, keeping themselves from disappearing. In turn Oikawa wraps his arms loosely over Iwaizumi’s shoulders. Iwaizumi only briefly registers the touch, busy pressing himself against his boyfriend’s chest in the silence of their once-again, shared apartment.  
Oikawa breaks it. 

‘God I’m exhausted’ he sighs out, extracting himself from Iwaizumi’s weakened grip and navigating himself towards the fridge ( not that he'd helped stock it in weeks). The harsh light washes the dimmed room white and as he watches those perfectly calloused fingers grip a bottle and tip it into that perfectly pursed mouth, Iwaizumi feels as if he’s watching an advert. Oikawa's become known for them. Here he was getting the same view. How lucky... The finished bottle is put down where Oikawa knows Iwaizumi will move it to the recycling later.

Heavy-lidded eyes then turn to Iwaizumi. The two regard each other for a moment; in the light. The volleyball player takes the first step forward. Iwaizumi tracks Oikawa's hands as they come to rest around his waist and knows if he looked up Oikawa would be looking down at them too. He had always liked Iwa's waist.   
‘I’ve missed you… Hajime’ is breathed out in a whisper above him before that mouth quickly descends on his neck. 'At least this is always familiar' was the thought that crossed Iwaizumi's mind. 

Later, between whimpers and moans for ‘more!’ or ‘harder!’ he wonders if he really had missed him or if that was just what was expected. Any tears are excused in the throes of pleasure. 

Afterwards, Iwaizumi moves to get out of the bed, prompting a half-lucid Oikawa to grunt lightly - though any protest is quickly assuaged by Iwaizumi’s promise to be right back. Collecting his previously-pressed clothes off of the floor he moves toward their attached bathroom. The clothes are neatly hung up on a rail before he turns towards himself in the mirror. Red marks track from inner thigh right up to a spot under his ear; a place only Oikawa has ever touched. He finds himself pressing onto that one, unknowingly trying to feel out a heartbeat through the mark. When he can’t find it, he presses harder, as if digging for sign that it still holds a part of them there. But he knows he can't do it alone.  
His chest tightens as he inhales a shuddering breath. There is no need for this, it's not practical to be upset is the mantra repeated to himself. Splashing his face with water and shrugging on the t-shirt and boxers he left the reflection to itself.

Keeping his head down, Iwaizumi pads into the kitchen living space. Turning on the lights above the sofa area, he pauses briefly at the set up as if just remembering it was there. Nodding slowly to himself with eyes closed he realigns his steps towards the sink to pour himself some water. Once the glass is half full he brings it up to his lips, hand quivering slightly with his shortened breath. He sets it down untouched 

Then, as if moving on automatic he turns back to the living area and finishes off the deconstructing what was left of the evening. The old school DVD player is put away first, back in the carboard box to put under the bed. His hands then begin diligently unmaking the sofa corner and it’s not until he lifts the stupid alien cushion off the seat that he notices the tears falling onto the fabric. He doesn’t make a move to wipe them away. Finally, he picks up the plate of milk bread intending to put them away for another time. However, as he turns back to the kitchen, his eye catches on that poorly knitted scarf thrown around their coat stand; a gift his grandma had given Oikawa years prior for ‘looking after her grandson’. His knees give out under the weight of it and the plates crash to the ground; ruined. Iwaizumi clutches at his chest in a broken sob.

Oikawa runs into the room, clad only in boxers and eyes wide with concern. Upon seeing Iwaizumi, who was collapsed on his knees in the middle of the floor, he scrambles over- pushing the ceramic shards away from the heaving figure whom had either not noticed or more likely, didn't care. 

‘Hajime? Hajime, babe? What happened?’ Oikawa pulls him in close to his chest and cupping his face with one hand .

What had happened? Iwaizumi’s brain supplied. What had happened to them? This wasn’t what they were meant to be like. He had always been able to keep up with Oikawa, matching him pace for pace towards whichever victory was next. He'd always known that Oikawa could pull ahead without him, go places Iwaizumi couldn't follow but he'd never thought that he actually would. Now, Iwaizumi felt as if he could barely make out the back of that stupidly styled hair as it faded into the distance, Oikawa not even turning back. His breath started coming in shorter bursts as he folded into himself tighter.

‘Shhh it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. See me? Hajime, I’m here. I won’t go anywhere. Look I’m here’ Oikawa repeats placing Iwaizumi’s hand over his heart. 

-Flashback-

The two are laying across a tiny dorm bed, legs tangled together. Oikawa is playing with the spiky tufts of hair on his boyfriend’s head- which is currently resting heavily on his sternum. 

‘You still awake Iwa-chan?’ 

Iwaizumi huffs in response before pushing himself up slightly, so that he could look into the mirthful eyes and soft smile

‘I can’t sleep because your heart is beating so loudly. Idiot.’ he says poking Oikawa's chest, but there was no malice behind the words, only the familiar teasing repertoire they had built up over years of toying with one another. 

In response, Oikawa rests his hand on top of Iwaizumi’s and presses it down firmly, above his heart.

‘Only for You.' And, despite the ridiculously cheesy line, his eyes conveyed the sincerity of his words, alongside that special wonky smile that Iwaizumi knows is only kept for him. The shorter man lunges forward and kisses him passionately before pulling away with a small laugh ‘You’re gross’. He puts his head back on Oikawa’s chest and listens to the heartbeat, considering it...For him. Iwaizumi then silently puts Oikawa’s hand to his own chest and presses it there and mumbles back ‘Only for You’. They fall asleep there; hearts given to one another.

-End of Flashback-

Iwaizumi’s breathing slowly evens out as he comes back to himself, wrapped in Oikawa’s arms. Then, while keeping his head tucked, he tentatively reached for Oikawa’s hand between their bodies and brings it to his chest. Pressing it there, in a small voice he promises again, ‘Only for You’.

Iwaizumi then raises his head to match level with Oikawa. Oikawa’s chest lurches at the sight of Iwaizumi’s tear-streaked face but more than that he's caught by the the defiant stare directed at him. It was a clear message. He was waiting for Oikawa, challenging him to not say it back but in his own way giving Oikawa a way out if he had had enough.

At this realisation, Oikawa felt tears prick at his eyes. He hadn’t meant to let this slip by him. Hadn’t meant to lose sight of Iwaizumi as he ran ahead. Though, he knows that hadn’t been around as much, he’d said yes to extra practice when he knew his boyfriend would be at home waiting and he had never pushed against the company’s decision to up foreign publicity stunts, taking him overseas for weeks at a time. He'd used Iwaizumi's loyalty to his own advantage, turning a blind eye until they had now reached this breaking point. And he had broken him. He could see it now

Oikawa stretches out, bridging the gap between them to lift Iwaizumi’s hand and pressing it deeply into his chest. Trying to convey as much as he could through his firm hands, resolute eyes and the watery smile, he rasps out ‘Only for You’. Iwaizumi wracks out a relieved shuddering sob at the response, matched by a stuttered exhale from Oikawa. They collapse inwards, their foreheads leaned against one another and breathing unified. Oikawa’s hand lifts to stroke Iwaizumi’s face, wiping tears aside with his thumb before leaning in to capture Iwaizumi's mouth in a kiss. They would always match one another. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work so literally any notes people have on this would be helpful- don't worry about offending! enjoy x


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